In a recent viral video clip, Louis CK hilariously and profoundly excoriates cellphones as a massive source of distraction from our true experience of life. Personally I love my cellphone. And I love social media, and computers in general, and many other sources of distraction. At the very same time, I recognize that these powerful technological tools potentially derail mindfulness, as the embody the very opposite of mindfulness, distraction: avoidance of our experience of this moment.
Distraction < Mindfulness
Posted in Everyday Mindfulness
Tagged boredom, distraction, life, life sucks, mindfulness, pleasure, procrastination, satisfaction, sex
1 Response
Mortality: Life May Be Shorter Than You Think
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying.
We’d all like to believe that we will live well into our 90s, or at least our 80s. But it’s not possible for all of us to live that long. None of us think WE will be the ones to get cancer early or die from other causes. But we will. A significant percentage of people reading this will not be here in 5 years.
That includes you, and that includes me as well. We don’t like to think about that fact. But there may be positive, life-affirming reasons to take very seriously our mortality, and its unpredictable nature. For one thing, when we really accept that time may be short, we forgive others more quickly and we keep our priorities straight. But accepting our situation regarding death confers us many such advantages.
Posted in Everyday Mindfulness
Tagged compassion, death, meditation, mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, mortality
4 Responses
Resilience: Beyond Punishment and Reward
Persistence. Resilience. What is it that makes some people persist in the face of great difficulties, when others simply give up? What makes some people highly resilient, refusing to give up even after many difficult experiences?
Given how much we tend to demand of ourselves and others, given how much we ask from our lives, it’s worth having a second and third look at what this whole resilience and persistence issue might be about. We just might be able to learn to be more resilient and persistent, if we want! Do you want to be like those steel cables in the picture, strong, resilient, flexible and unbreakable? Do you want to accomplish your immediate goals, and make incremental progress on your loftiest goals? If so, read on.
Blogging Sucks
Therapy, the Human mind, and life in general are not all that suck. Blogging and blogs suck. So I have to find a cute visual to go with my blog post? Oh, joy. I can break copyright laws again and hose off someone’s hard work, thanking them for it by misusing their photography or art without permission. And I get to use this super-unfriendly WordPress program that screws up half the time? So tempting I can hardly resist. Link my own text with my own prior work? Completely necessary for internet style and not at all narcissistic. Whoops, I’ve got about as much down here now as most people are willing to read — better add one of those fancy little breaks that makes this paragraph a teaser so the whole post isn’t visible at once. Because I just love communicating with my fellow humans in a formulaic way that demands futzing with technical doo-dads and employing advertising tricks and manipulation.
Doing Nothing Well: Easing Stress
Most of us complain about “stress,” but we have a superficial understanding of its sources. Like any complex psychological experience, stress has many sources and causes. One of these is that we are not skilled at being idle, doing nothing. It is as if we have lost our “neutral” gear and have to be moving and doing at all times.
Even when we decide to “take it easy,” we are still doing, doing, doing as we “relax.” We go to a coffee shop, bring our computer, drink our coffee, write emails, look out the windows, fantasize, fret to ourselves, worry, daydream, plan vacations, take phone calls, send emails. And that’s “relaxing.”
Posted in Stress and Stress Management
Leave a comment
Boredom and Joy
Boredom is rather interesting. Why do I become bored? What, even, IS boredom? I notice boredom as a kind of restlessness in my body, and a thought that “there is something much better out there, and I need to get it.” I disconnect from what is happening right now, right here and begin to focus on other possibilities that exist, for the time being, only in my mind. I stop relating well with what is happening.
None of these things that happen when I notice boredom are “bad,” they just ARE. And, they sometimes interfere with noticing joy in life. It’s hard to notice joy when one is disconnected and absorbed in thoughts about what is not present.
Posted in Everyday Mindfulness
Tagged boredom, creativity, joy, meditation, mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, psychology
Leave a comment
Transforming Rage into Vigor
“At heart I’m a frightened angry person. That’s probably why my stuff isn’t totally insubstantial. I’m constantly, deep down inside, in a kind of rage.”
–Robyn Hitchcock
Hating life? Hard not to in this economy. As I’ve written about many times here before, when we live life through the mind, everything just seems to suck, endlessly.
As the incredibly creative and talented rocker-songwriter Robyn Hitchcock, who graced Portland with his presence and music at the Doug Fir a couple nights ago, points out in an interview, his rage feeds his prodigious and prolific creativity. Why is it that some of us are able to channel the energy of rage into creativity, while for others, rage and hatred of life are just, well, a living Hell and not much else?
Transcendence: Rising Above Existence
In prior blog entries, I discussed ways that life is fundamentally awful and depression is a pretty understandable, Human reaction to the way things are. That is, however, only one side of the story of our existence. The other side is the fact that transcendence of suffering is possible for each and every one of us.
The method of cultivating transcendence is precisely mindfulness practice, whether formal meditation or everyday awareness of the present moment. Why would this be so?
Posted in Pain and Suffering
Tagged positive psychology, psychology, spirit, spirituality, transcend, transcendence
1 Response
Fatigue and I-don’t-wanna-itis
I’m fatigued. Not Chronic Fatigue, just fatigue. I slept less than I need to or like to, and I just don’t want to do the things I need to do. Or so my mind says.
What to do when fatigued? Is it worth resting? Or do we “power through” with a caffeinated drink?
Chronic fatigue can be caused by many conditions, and can also be “idiopathic” meaning they don’t really know what’s causing it. I work with people with chronic fatigue as I’d work with anyone that has a chronic and debilitating illness. It’s certainly not the same thing as what I’m experiencing.
Posted in Stress and Stress Management
Tagged acceptance, ACT, attitude, commitment, fatigue, therapy, values
1 Response
Depression: The Logic of Despair
Why do depression and despair paralyze us? Okay, not “why,” as in, “can I have YET ANOTHER more or less useless scientific explanation of clinical depression?” But rather, what is it about depression in the moment, in this very moment, experientially, that makes it so much better to do nothing, than to do something? And, how can I recognize when my despair is an illusion, versus when it is justified by the facts of my life? And what is to be done about the inaction resulting from despair? Like the subject of the classic drawing “Melancholia” featured here, we are surrounded by wonder and yet often choose to do nothing, wallowing in despair.
Recently I wrote about “Bullshit Psychology”, and in connection with that post, I looked around online and found this interesting post by someone with much to say about having difficulty, ah, finding anything useful about psychologists. The author writes at length, with much truth, about how “awful” and “shitty” life is, the world is, civilization is. And the sad truth is, he’s right. Everything IS awful and terrible, from our perspective. AND also miraculous, wondrous, precious and divine. And we don’t handle that contradictory situation very well; our logical minds take over and fail us, leading us to despair and inaction, when what’s required in order to live life in a meaningful, satisfying way, is action.
Read More
Posted in Pain and Suffering
Tagged bitterness, depression, despair, life sucks, my life sucks, sadness, the world sucks
8 Responses
